And by that i don’t mean The Interview, because we’ve seen it. And it sucks. But i guess it’s nice for the ents to have a new movie added to their list.
In the past there have been several movies that have never seen the light. The Interview got ‘cancelled’ at first but came out anyway. These movies have never and will never come out because of different reasons.
1.The Day The Clown Cried.
This is the granddaddy of all un-seeable movies. Jerry Lewis made a film about a clown being imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp which proved to be so controversial, he never let it see the light of day.
Only he knows the location of the only copy of the film, and he’s never letting anyone see it. Somehow, Harry Shearer (of Simpsons and Spinal Tap fame) got to view it and declared it unwatchable.
2. Nothing Lasts Forever.
A sci-fi comedy throwback from MGM, written and directed by SNL Vetran Tom Schiller, produced by Lorne Michaels, and featuring Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray in supporting roles, the film was canned shortly before the release due to unspecified legal issues.
Warner Bros. recently had the film taken down on Youtube from a fan, and said that they’ve mulled a proper DVD release, but it isn’t on the forefront
3. Don’s Plum.
A film containing early performances by Leo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Jenny Lewis, and Kevin Connolly. It was agreed upon the actors that it would never screen in the US so as not to hurt the actors reputations. Snippets of it are on Youtube and available on DVD outside the US, but by all accounts it is terrible.
4. Song of the South.
It still amazes me that the film that brought us the timeless song “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah” is never going to see a proper release. The film’s depiction of former slaves is a bit touchy and to dart controversy Disney hasn’t released the film in it’s entirety for home viewing.
5. Skate Town USA.
Patrick Swayze’s film debut was meant to capitalize on the roller disco fad of the time, but was a massive bomb. All involved, including Scott Baio, have blocked it from their memory. Due to entanglements with the soundtrack it was never released on any home format, but if you must watch it you can find it in chunks on Youtube.
6. My Best Friend’s Birthday.
Had the negatives to this not been destroyed in a fire, this would have been Quentin Tarantino’s debut film in 1987. Tarantino himself stated that the finished film wasn’t very good, but considers the experience his “film school”. The surviving 36 minutes can be watched on Youtube, but it’s a pretty crappy transfer.
7. Let It Be.
Now I know you’re wondering, but it’s the Beatles, why would this be out of print? Paul and Ringo don’t want you to see this film because they both believe it represents a low point in the Beatles professional friendship, and it would ruin the public image of the band. Rumor had it that a re-issue would be coming soon, but after going over some restored footage, all involved realized the film was a mess.
8. Cocksucker Blues.
Again, like with Let It Be, The Rolling Stones thought the film would hurt their public image, so they barred it from being released. In a unique twist, a judge ordered that in order for the film to be screened, director Robert Frank must be in attendance. It exists in bootleg form, and a few scenes can be found on youtube.
9. Big Bug Man.
Not a lot is know about this indie animated feature. The plot concerned a candy factory worker being bit by a radioactive bug and getting superpowers. What is known is that it contains the final performance off one Marlon Brando.
Yeah, THAT Marlon Brando. He voiced an elderly woman and dressed in elderly women’s clothes while recording to get into character. The world needs to see that! For whatever reason, this film just dropped off the face of the planet.
10. The Fantastic Four.
In 1994 Roger Corman wanted to retain the rights to the Fantastic Four to make a movie later, but if he didn’t make a movie right then and there, he’d lose the rights, so this slapdash production was made! The further exploits of this terrible production are documented in the film “Doomed!” Bootlegs have circulated the festival rounds for years.